"Polar Vortex Fashion"

                The Polar Vortex which has bedeviled all states east of the Rockies since December 1^st continues. NYC had the eighth coldest month of January in the city’s history. The average day time temp was below freezing. Kansas recently recorded a night of 40 below zero, as has Minnesota several times and even as far south as Houston there has been snow and freezing temperatures. Atlanta had another ice storm last night and my friend in Dallas told me the other the day the high temperature was 25. In Dallas, Texas! All this is a relentless assault on record books everywhere. BUT here is the good news! All this cold has really brought out some interesting “Polar Vortex Fashion”.

                In Manhattan (locals say it this way Mnhattn’) I have seen everything from the 20 thousand dollar full length sable coat to numskulls wearing a tee shirts, sweaters and running shorts.The standard wear for women wanting to stay warm is:  A North Face puffy down coat (knee or ankle length) with a fake fur lined hood. Add to that boots up to the knees which most women prefer but since the ankle high boot-shoe is so popular this year, there are plenty of leg cramping, ankle stressing boot-shoes too. Some women will wear a beanie hat and then  the hood on top of that. You see lots of the terrorist ski masks and of course the color coordinated scarf that in many cases is used to wrap the face. Frankly, most of these women look terrific in their cold weather “gear". You don’t see many “Sally bag a bones” walking down New York streets. Also you see lots of full length fur coats, and I'm guessing most of them are fake fur. Still.  many of these women look loaded with money so it may well be real fur. No one gives them a hard time about whether or not it’s real fur because in Mnhattn' it’s like: hey I do what I do; you do what you do. In L.A. you wouldn't get 6 blocks wearing a real fur coat before Birkenstock clad ex hippies looking for a cause to get hysterical and shrieky about would accost you.

                My favorite for the women are the trooper (trapper) hats and also the round Russian winter hats that I call the Dr. Zhivago hat. Wow, are they impressive. Each day I get to pass by a Lara and Dr. Zhivago, pretend I am in St. Peters burg and that I ‘m about to get a cup of coffee with Leo Tolstoy. I have included a few pictures of women in there furry finest.

                On the other hand, with men, (as most women know) it’s another story. I understand there are a few well-dressed Pierce Brosnan types with their full length wool coats, matching scarves and everything from the winter fedora hat to their own Russian fur military hat. They stand out among a sea of guys that look like the boat just docked and they got off with their sea cap beanie, short wool coat, mismatched scarf, jeans and boots or tennis shoes. Sad to say I fit in this category. Every picture of me in winter garb I look like Jack Nicholson in “The Last Detail”. I have to change that look. Next year I’m getting me a really cool looking warm coat. Either the North Face Polar Ice Cap Eskimo Sea Fishing coat with the fur lined hood or a real long wool coat. I’m switching to the trooper hat with fake fur ear flaps. I thought about buying a rabbit fur trooper hat but the thought of using a dead rabbit's fur to keep my ears warm….well I just can't do it. After all rabbit fur is notorious for shedding. That just won't do!

                When wearing the nice get ups for winter even ugly women look reasonably good but sad to say ugly men remain ugly no matter what they wear. Some genetic misfires just can't be saved.

I include a picture of a man that I find words hard to describe. Put that guy in a wool coat and Russian hat and he would still look like "Joe the rag man", just one that stole some guy’s nice coat and hat.  I guess the moral to his story is if you can't wear nice clothes, wear lots of clothes. Even the clothing challenged should be warm.