10 That Need a Cleanse

This is what Gatz has to say:

Doctors have long extolled the virtues associated with people cleaning out the impurities in their system. Heck, it's a cottage industry in itself with products on every drug store counter. Sometimes people have to clean out the foolishness within them as well. Pride, ego, vanity, anger, depression, and many more bad things are some of the things we could all purge. In a somewhat humorous way I give you 10 famous people that I think need a cleanse.

1. Lindsay Lohan: 90 days of semi solitary should cleanse her of her alcohol fueled self destruction. Did you see her awful performance at her probation violation hearing? That (fake)awful sobbing appeal to the judge all the while sitting there with her hands covering her face and on her hands the letters say F you. When and where did this spunky, cute, fun little girl from the movie Parent Trap go wrong? For that answer look up Macauley Culkin.
2. Mel Gibson: I've had enough of his boorish bad boy behavior. What with his whisky fueled rants about hating everything that is Jewish, black, Hispanic, or is it just women in general he hates so much? The point is I don't care and neither does anyone else. We are just tired of his blathering on and on about it. Doesn't he know what a tape recorder is? So much has been given to this Australian actor that you'd think he would be tremendously grateful and be in a give back mood BUT what he gives back is what you'd hear from drunken hillbillies at a moonshine party. Shut up Mel and take a cleanse.
3. Lebron James: Pride goes before the fall. Edmund Spenser the great English writer wrote about the 7 deadliest sins and the number one sin on the list was pride. There he sat King James (self described) taking up America's time on ESPN with a one hour special all devoted to King James telling us what team he chose to anoint with his presence next fall. Here is a slam dunk idea Lebron: the people that watched that show are morons with no lives. Frankly most of America could care less where you play but there is one thing the rest of us do want from you: take a cleanse and get over yourself.
4. Sarah Palin Lovers: Look she just got 75K for speaking 50 minutes at a college campus recently. The people at that college (professors and students) were outraged that the school would spend that much money to bring her in but the University president was giddy because all of her moronic alumni and private donors (wealthy) couldn't get enough of Sarah. She claims the school made a lot of money. If you think Sarah is the next political savior or the next President please take a cleanse and begin therapy as soon as possible.
5. Simon Cowell: So rich, so smug, and so British! I can't take anymore of him. He knows how to make money (so do many others) and he knows how to promote others but that's it. You have no redeeming value beyond your own self promotion. If you lost all your money you wouldn't have a thing to recommend you. Take a cleanse and start figuring out how to do more for the world than say “Sorry, that's how I feel"
6. Superman: Okay, I get you can do so much more than anybody else thing and your silly attempt to pretend to be Clark Kent is kind of 8th grade cute but you really do have to get a personality. The shy guy thing is annoying, the icy cool hero thing is annoying, let's face it you are just plain annoying. Take a kryptonic cleanse and start over.
7. Sandra Bullock: Every time I go into a grocery story or drug store your face is on a magazine and you have that "someone just ran over my dog" look on your face. Yes, your hubby or boyfriend was a dick. Yes, you got hurt. Yes, you'll have to start over. Hey, join the rest of us who have to do all those things but without every housewife, and teeny bopper from coast to coast weeping over our "tragic" story like they do yours. Take a cleanse, get a good lawyer and stop crying every time you see a camera.
8. The Pope: I'm sorry you were born a Ratzinger. I give you sympathies for that but listen cone head, you and all your Cardinal buddies all need to take a cleanse or two, clear your heads for two minutes and tell everyone of those priests out there working for you that you (The Pope) (since you are on speaking terms with the Deity) will condemn them to hell and turn them over to the authorities if they so much as even think about touching a kid.
9. James Cameron: Yes I know you are a highly successful director and you have made a shit load of money for your studios but talk about being full of yourself. All the people that work directly with you and those behind the scenes describe you as a horror to work for. You are described as being tyrannical, temperamental (emphasis on the "mental") and arrogant to the point of it being painful to be in the same room with you. Stop all ready with the Mr. Otto Preminger, Mr. Alfred Hitchcock, and all the other prima donna pain in ass directors. Try making others around you happier and better. Quit making me wish you were on the Titanic.
10. Anybody who Quotes Forrest Gump: I hate to tell you this Mr. and Mrs. America but Forrest Gump had an IQ of 70. He's legally an idiot but you still think he's Yoda in a short sleeve sport shirt. He sat on a bench for 2+ hours because he didn't know when the bus came! He volunteered for Vietnam! He ran through the tunnel after scoring a touchdown because he didn't know he could stop running. He's a fricking moron and still you quote his box of chocolates line and every other stupid utterance. Look do this...take a cleanse and when you are thinking straight take your Forrest Gump hats, tee shirts, DVD's and throw them in the trash. You'll feel better and instantly gain 40 IQ points.
That's my list and I feel cleansed just listing them (kidding). Did I leave someone out?