"Before I start this blog, several of you have asked to be on the mailing list for The Bailey Post and I will try to get you on the list asap. I also send this to facebook. If you know someone that might want to read The Bailey Post, just let me know where to send the Post to them. Get their okay first of course. I am up to 15 readers without advertising for readers so slowly but surely it's building."
2011 was a tough year (and it's not over). Earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, the debt-ceiling debacle, drought,heat and fires in Texas, the European economic meltdowns and Charley Sheen just to name a few of the traumas we had to go through.
However, I see 2012 as being much, much better. I'm excited about 2012 and I hope we will see an end to some of the things that plagued us in 2011. However, to be totally fair, life is a yin-yang situation and sometimes letting go of something not so good, creates a void that can be filled with something that is either good or not so good.
So here is my tongue in cheek look at the potential yin-yang of 2012.
1. YIN: NASA reports that no more satellites are expected to fall from space on unsuspecting humans in 2012.
YANG: There is at least one huge space station expected to fall to Earth in about 2 years. Whereas the satellite was the size of a truck, the space station is the size of Haystack Calhoun.
2. YIN: We have an election in 2012. If you are happy with things, vote President Obama back in. If not, vote him out. You get your say in 2012.
YANG: The voting booths will officially open at 6am east coast time and CNN will declare a winner at 6:05am, followed by Fox at 6:06, CNBC at 6:07, and ABC,CBS, NBC at 6:10am. A winner will be declared based on a straw poll of 50 exiting voters in Lambfries, Maine. This will result in most people realizing it's pointless to vote at all and as a result the declared winner will be assured of winning.
3. YIN: 2012 will see the European Union bail out Greece and in so doing save the the rest of the world from a double dip recession.
YANG: Once Greece has been saved from itself, still waiting in the queue are Portugal, Spain and England.
4. YIN: The fashion industry will finally put an end to using the grotesquely emaciated, super models.
Yang: They will rely on computer graphic imagry to realistically simulate actual stick-figures. Clothes will be drawn on stick-figures. Their reasoning is, stick-figures don't have to eat at all. Tim Gunn approves.
5. YIN: In an effort to curb American obesity, The Congress will declare a "war on fat". Processed refined sugar products will be outlawed and so will excessive grease.
YANG: Much like the prohibition era, sugar speakeasys will spring up in the backs of drug stores, peoples garages, and in the back rooms of Home Depots.
If you say (into the peep hole) the magic words "Clogged Arteries" you will be allowed into the sin room filled with cream puffs, eclairs, candy corn, taffy, cake and for those in really bad shape there will be a room within a room where you can indulge yourself in fritters and fried butter.
6. YIN: More money will be given to Education in 2012. Seeing the error of their ways, legislatures from coast to coast will appropriate more money for schools.
YANG: State education offices will point out that since high State test scores exist despite the ratio of 42-1 in the classroom reducing class sizes is unnecessary. They will point out that money for education should go where it can do the most good.....more testing.
Now states will have 3 standardized tests per school year. More testing means lots more paper, manuels, pencils and personnel. However there still won't be any money left over for test security. You are still on the honor system.
7. YIN: Great news travelers. Airlines plan to stop the ridiculous policy of charging for bags. No more bag charges in 2012.
YANG: The airlines will also announce the day after the no bag charge announcement that they will need to start charging a fee for using toilets on the planes, for the cushions in the seat bottoms and for the use of windows. They will reason that running a continuously operating bathroom is very costly as is cutting holes in the airplane for windows.
8. YIN: Thank God reality shows like Jersey Shore, Housewives of Beverly Hills, The Kardashians, and Primped and Proper willl disappear.
Yang: Unfortunately a new wave of shows will replace them, centered on overindulged children (americans favorite obsession).
Shows like "My Bitchen Kid", "Little Miss Angel", "Mine's Better than Yours", and my personal favorite, "Who wants a Trophy?" In that show kids are given trophies the minute they are born, just for having.... well been born. Be advised parents you'll need a bigger bedrooms to fit in all those throphies.
9. YIN: Finally after all these years of waiting, Creationists will emerge from their annual "Cocoon Convention" and announce that they have accepted the "evolution" theory of existence.
Yang: They will, however, also say they came to this conclusion because God told them this over the loudspeaker at lunch on Friday.
10. YIN: Narcisstic, self-agrandizing blowhards like Rush Limbaugh, and Glenn Beck will finally be taken off the airwaves.
Yang: Well,the bad news is they will be replaced by Howard Stern and
Geraldo Rivera.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please state your opinion in a respectful way