"Oh What a Night"

The first picture is of my lovely residential street (81^st between 1^st and 2^nd avenues) on the upper east side of Manhattan. The second picture is of my red brick apartment building. 

One nice thing about living on a more residential (city) street is that the people get to know each other, become urban friends in a way.  Recently I attended the East 81^st Street Faire and Talent Competition held right outside my building. I ate foods I can't pronounce, will still be digesting in November and that came in suspect containers, but I also got to witness this year’s talent competition. 

There were seven exciting acts but here are my 3 favorites. 

First (and winner of the 6 month supply of large trash bags) was Grantland Toogood, an older British fella living in my building in apartment 5a. Grantand’s specialty was using a small piece of wax paper and a comb to create a kazoo-like sound (some would say a wounded quail sound, but let’s not quibble). He did a splendid rendition of John Philip Sousa’s stirring march. It was so rousing that even Eugene Tweezer stopped eating long enough to stand. I wished he hadn't since his pot belly (now more like a full size Franklin stove) nearly upset the table when he rose.

Only the quick hands of Twila Mayo grabbing the kosher pickle jar prevented disaster. Grantland breezed through Brahms’s Concerto for Kazoo and finished with my favorite of the three, The Beatles “Blackbird”. Well done Grantland. Later he complained of sore lips but a few people whispered that it wasn't his playing but more likely Mrs. Hershel's none organic potato salad which he had been advised to stay away from and didn't.

Another “can't miss” was Anna Constantinople’s sock puppet act. She pretended to be talking to a character she calls Bartleby but which I think is a rip off of the old Ed Sullivan’s Senor Wences act: Topo Gigio. Whatever! Anna’s ventriloquism skills aren't bad although seeing her Adam’s apple move when she was speaking for Bartleby was disconcerting on many levels. She won the Street Faire Committee’s prize for most “Unlike Non Reality” and with that a 40.00 gift certificate to the local Rainbow Hardware.

But the one I am most eager to report on was the grand champions. Two twin boys that tap danced.  Guido and Bill were about the age of six but as we all know, it’s harder to tell ages when they are cross-eyed twins. They stood on a folding table, held capably by their father Altoona. Their first number was a crowd pleasing “Yankee Doodle Dandy” adroitly followed by the mood changing number “New York, New York”. The only thing is that right in middle of their tapping the line "I did it my way", Beulah Fillit two tables down began to cry uncontrollably.  I was thinking, Beulah, they aren't that bad.  But,turns out I was wrong, the elderly Beulah Fillit had never heard that Ol Blue Eyes himself, the Chairman of the Board, had died. 

Braho, my building’s super gave poor Beulah the down lo on Blue Eyes and at the same time scolded her on her loosened trash bag tops. OUCH!

The twins finished with something that is hard to believe. They began to tap dance to Ravel’s “Bolero”. If you don’t know “Bolero” starts out very, very slowly for several minutes and seeing them tapping in slow motion (remember each boy is looking at the other boys feet) left all of us with our mouths agape in disbelief.  They were so excited to win the DVD of the movie “Titanic”.  Later, we quietly took up a collection to help them buy a DVD player. I saw things that night that will stay with me forever.

I bet I know what you are thinking right about now: "I wish I lived in New York City"!!