"I Did it Adrienne, I Did it"

A couple of weeks ago I spied an opinion piece by Rebecca D. Costa in the NY Times discussing whether or not human beings are losing the will to live. She cites the shootings in Connecticut and Colorado in 2012 as examples of 2 persons Adam Lanza and James Holmes that seemingly had lost the desire to live. According to her when people like Christopher Dorner (cop rampage in California) essentially make the decision to die, they cease to care about anyone or thing. They aren't burdened by guilt, a sense of fairness, or remorse. Since they have nothing else to lose (they have willingly decided to give up everything including their own life) they don’t care about others. Suicide bombers don’t care and hijackers that fly planes into buildings don’t care about others. Costa's overall point is that we've never had a time like this where so many people are simply losing the will to live.

Consider: when John Wilkes Booth shot Abe Lincoln he frantically tried and did (for a few days) escape.  Bonnie and Clyde committed crimes but they were always trying to get away, they were, “running for their lives”. Killers like these aren't like Adam Lanza or Dylan Klebold. The impulse to survive and thrive is why even serial killers will try to avoid getting caught. The most dangerous person is the person that no longer cares or wants to survive and thrive. They can kill a 5 year old or a 95 year old with no reaction because since they have lost the will to live it doesn't matter to them if someone else lives or not.

Consider: The number of suicides in this country has reached unprecedented numbers. 1 million people report trying to kill themselves every year just in this country and 1 person every 15 minutes on average does kill them self.  The suicide rates in the U.S. Military has reached the same level as the civilian population, something that seemed unheard of 20 years ago. Of the 1 million that report trying to kill themselves in this country (each year) it is estimated that at least double that amount seriously considers doing so. It’s not just in the land of plenty (USA) either. Globally, suicides have risen 60% in the last 45 years. Why are so many  losing the will to live?

Thoughts

Socrates said the noblest thing a human being can do is to live out their life. Sounds simple but think about it, life is fraught with many obstacles, disappointments, losses, rejections, health problems, lost jobs, accidents, injustices, bad luck, depressions and if those things weren't enough there is the energy output needed every day just to live. To live a long full life, you have to be tough, smart, resilient, strong, clever, aware, focused and determined. It is not easy to live a long full life. According to Socrates if you do, you have done something truly noble.

My friend Mike Moldeven (age 94) died the day after my friend Debby lost her mother Vee (87). This happened 2 weeks ago. I went to see Mike at his “senior assisted facility in Encinitas” and I also went to see Vee in her residential place right up to when I left for New York. When I would go see them I also saw many, many really older folks at the places. A few were doing relatively okay but most were really struggling. It wasn't easy to see people whittled down by life but I have to say I had the greatest respect for every one of them. I started thinking of them as “real road warriors”. I mean they were the survivors of the longest race there is “the life marathon”. They didn't get knocked off along the way nor did they throw in the towel. They were still getting up, trying to stand and walk at 95, determined to keep going. I thought, do you know how tough-minded, how stubborn you have to be to do that?  I know many of these people struggled with hearing loss, body function loss sometimes, memory lapses and so forth but there they were still refusing to quit. It's like they thought,  lose my hearing? Fine I’ll read lips. Lose a leg? Fine, I’ll learn to walk with a prosthetic.  To make it to 94 is extraordinary. BUT Mike did and he was a hero to me.  Mike was running his own blog at age 88! Vee overcame cancer and polio.  

Shakespeare wrote about the very issue of the will to live. His famous character Hamlet, faced with the knowledge that his Uncle murdered his beloved father and then married his mother is so heartbroken and stressed that he considers killing himself.  “To be or not to be, that is the question.” That is the question isn't it? Should a person try and persevere and keep going when the shit hits the fan or just give up? “Whether to suffer the slings and arrow of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing, end them. To die, to sleep, No more….”  When, if ever, is it okay to let go of the will to live?

The Scottish poet Dylan Thomas wrote a poem in which he said, “Do not go gently into that good night; rage, rage against the dying of the light”. He was writing to and about his ill father that seemed to be giving up when the doctors had told him he could get better.  He goes on to suggest that whatever time we get in this life, it’s not enough.  If we make it to 93 we should want and demand 94 and so forth. Do not ever give up. My friend Neville told me about a time when he tried out for a basketball team and his father told him, “Make em cut ya”. Those are profound words, “make em cut ya”.  Don’t give up on you, don’t stop fighting and trying, make the powers that be stop you, never stop yourself.

The great metaphysical poet John Donne wrote a poem “Death Be Not Proud” where in he suggested that we have nothing to fear in life, because even when faced with the biggest fear of all, our death, we can overcome that. He says, “Death shall have NO dominion over us”. We live and then for a few brief moments death has us but we rise to an eternal life. Once we have reached the eternal life, death has no hold on us ever again.  He gives us great hope and comfort because he mocks death by saying, death you aren't so great, you have no hold on us, and in fact “death, thou shalt die”.

Conclusion

We need to be like Rocky Balboa in the movie “Rocky”. He goes the full 15 rounds with his far superior opponent Apollo Creed. He takes a ferocious pounding. He won’t win the fight but that is not the point. He is a winner by not giving up. In the end when the fight is over, he is bloodied but still standing. “I did it Adrienne  I did it” he shouts. Did what? What he did is show courage against the odds. He did what Socrates told us to do….take whatever life throws at you, be a battler, have confidence in you, use your strength, cunning, experience, smarts, patience, faith, determination and will to still be standing at the end. To still be standing at the end despite all the odds against us that’s the noble thing to do. Make life cut ya, don’t cut yourself.
I am sorry so many people are losing the will to live. I also believe that as a country we must find ways to keep weapons out of the hands of those that no longer care about life. But, I  care about my life and I care about yours. I have no intention of going gently into that good night and I don’t want you or anyone you know to either. Let's be Noble together.